people... my new blog..

cheers...

heyya..

well, im a lil busy lately.. and i dont really have time to blog anymore.. so, may this blog be the end of my 2008..



cheers..


may god bless me..


ps: this will be my last blog... take care..

lemme introduce u all to arisa and err, i forgot the other one lah..

PS: The camera is still with my sister lah.. sorry..

memories of last month...

CONFESSION OF THE BROKEN HEART…

This might be a repeat or an encore about the series or chains of my life.. but it aint all about my miseries..



The pain in me, has affected me, again, today morning.. After listening to both side of the stories from the skeleton, in my cupboard… I had enough of waiting for “the one” to support me.. He aint gonna live forever to support me.. Retaliation etc etc; might be a common thing for a teenager.. But does “living independant” equivalents to “retaliation”? This is a big question mark in my life…


The questions that I often ask myself..


“WHY ME??” “WHY ME?”…


Life is being cruel towards me for not giving me the equal chances of being prosperous, just like other people.. Why do I always have to start from the bottom-est level??


I talk a lot, yeah??



Never mind.. It doesn’t matter..


It’s hard to rise up easily in this competitive world.. If I just hang on for a few more seconds, most probably I will get to “leave the life I used to know”…


Like what they sat:

“I don’t want to live my life in isolation, filled with empty decorations, because I wanna be with people that I know. Doing all the things I do. Making all my dreams come true.. Coz I don’t recognize the shadows of my dark although I’ve seen them all before because the only thing I really want, is to be …..”…



It has been a while since the last time I actually blog about my life.. I had quite functions, lately.. But the people of KYUEM at Nazrin sister’s wedding, are really different… They are one of a kind.. Btw, just wanna say sorry to the girl in specs, along with her “Khazanah” scholarship for err, accidentally punch her tummy the other day because of her silly jokes.. Sorry, ms. Maddy…


PS: She reminds me of Chong Lee li.. O.o


Cheers..


PS: The most beautiful thing in this world cant be seen nor touch.. But you can feel it..
PPS: And I am feeling it right now..


This is another chapter of my life.. and it will end in this six weeks time.. And then, YOU will know the people who are going to live with you, or leave you..


Cheers..

It's not easy.. To be.. Me...

Life has changed edi.. And nothing much to talk about it..



Hope that u get what im trying to say..



C'est La Vie..

The Adamant

THIS IS THE STORY OF MY LIFE (for the past few days)..

Okay, this is just another thought of mine; there’s actually nothing “INTELLIGENT” for me to talk about my life, in my blog, lately.. Nowadays, I feel like a “CAVEMAN”.. (yup, that was my nickname in rugby..)..I’m actually stuck in a four cornered wall, more or less like a torcher chamber under the flaming bright fluorescent light, feeling cold as if that it was winter (16’c)… And I have to bow down to the “God Of Money” to earn some cash for my err, Wife and Kids.. According to Jessica, the two of them must be “Kebuluran” and dying for food if I keep on doing the things im doing right now.. Silly her..




Basically, im writing this blog while “yawning” and waiting for another customer to enter the shop, entertain them with my fabulous thoughts on colours and fashion, and make them feel “Do I look like Nichole Richie??” and “Im so hot.. I think that I’m even hotter than Brad Pitt”..



Yeah,at times, I will just smile at their silly thoughts. But one thing for sure; everybody is beautiful in their own way… It may not be a subjective topic for me to argue about, but nowadays, people tend to see and describe more about the physical appearance of anj individual rather than seeing his or her extraordinary talents, hidden skills or even experiences.. But it got worst, lately.. Living in a multiracial environment, I have to say that I have the advantage of adapting to people’s life.. Maybe because somehow, I am affected by my roots, my environment and the people around me.. And they mould me to be the person I am right now.. without any regrets, I know that I will conquer the world where im living right now..



Last night, I was actually spilling all my thoughts to Amirul.. It was great to hear stories from him again. We didn’t really had our “heart to heart” talk for a month or two already… And last night, we were like to little girls talking about the latest dude in town… *laugh out loud*…



One thing that I love to talk to amirul whenever wh have the chance to do so will always be about “OUR ACTION AND THE CONSEQUENCES”… At times, we even name our methods and “patentkan” it with a symbolic name.. For example, the infamous “PANDA METHOD” by me and the “PLANNERS METHOD” by Amirul..



Don’t worry.. We are not some crazy dudes who talks about some random stuffs and name it as our “products”.. Usually, we’ll test it on random people, compare the situations, find the consequences and aftereffects, to find the flaw in our system, change the variables before doing our final conclusion about the things that happened to us on yesterday, today and about tomorrow..


And somehow, we don’t get initiated or be sensitive about the things that we really wanna talk about… For instance, the hurdles in college or even about the life we are going through right now..



Honesty may not be the best policy in our bi-monthly phone conversation but we just know that deep inside,we don’t talk to someone for err, almost five hours just to lie and con that person.. And our REAL conversation usually start on the minute where either one of us has to go..


PS: And last night, our real conversation started around 3.30am and the two of us had been talking to each other from 10.15pm, 15minutes after I completed my job duties..


PPS: That wasn’t really my longest conversation in my life.. Five hours with amirul is just nothing.. I’ve had another conversation with my Promtay Head of Entertainment Department, a week before my SPM.. It was the longest phone conversation I ever had with someone.. And we were talking about random stuffs ranging from me finding a guy for her, etc etc.. It was really funny.. We commented bout each other, our This and that but nothing about err, Promtay.. =X It was hilarious.. Maybe because I was too Stressful with my SPM last year, and we ended up talking to each other for more than SEVEN hours, till 6am or so.. And at sharp 7am, I had to go for my Berita Harian Seminar at International Islamic University.. And guess what, ti FAINTED after listening to the lecturers boring speech coz I didn’t get the chance to rest or take a nap.. Thank you girl… (wasted RM100+++ for trhe stupid seminar)…



Those were the days… When we were younger..



Well, life goes on for me without any regrets.. Cheers to everyone…

LEAVING THE LIFE I USED TO KNOW

Hey blog..



Im back..


But this time. I have a 1001 things to ask myself; about yesterday, today and tomorrow.. Thought of sharing my thoughts with the people around me.. But im having difficulties to figure out to WHOM I should spill everything out too..


Spilling everything out to my family is the last thing I could ever do.. Actually, I tried.. But , they just don’t get it.. Or maybe, I explained it to them, the wrong way.. I dunno… Maybe I have difficulties to spill everything out to anyone. A little paranoid, maybe.. With a lil bit of fear too.. Just don’t want it to backfire me..


A little update about my life.. To kill time, I got myself a job which requires me to work in a boutique and be part of the management team.. Problems risen up when I was given a choice.. And im spoilt for choice.. I need someone to talk too.. I gave myself a few hours to think off someone, but non popped out in my mind.. And once again, I have to ask myself some questions through my blog.. And hopefully by spilling everything out in my blog, I can find the solutions to my “problems”, which are not exactly a big issue..


Im spoilt for choice.. Company Z just called me to work with them, and they gave a better pay to my current company, G.. Being a little hungry for cash, I knew that I can earn more in company Z.. An amount of salary which can possibly let me to rent my own apartment in Bangsar, apply for credit card and even get a 5years installment for at least, a Proton Waja for myself... And I can actually earn all these things as aforesaid, at the age of 18, by myself..



At times, I even questioned myself.. Are there anyone who’s doing all the work for me by pulling any strings, or is it im the one who’s lucky enough to get this so called “opportunity”.. Yeah, it is a good thing for me… But the truth is, IM NOT READY for any of these things…



Company Z or Company G… An option where I have to figure it out by myself… And this time, I have to do it by myself.. I have to make my own decision,.. So that I wont regret about the after effects, in future…



I just dunno how to describe about my current life…




It is beautiful.. With all the things going smoothly and everuthing falls at the right spot; I just CANT complain ANYTHING about mylife.. But again, this is not the life that I ever wanted…



Spending my time hours and hours at the boutique and to do the things that I have to do, it made me realize on how difficult it is to earn even 1 Sen.. And im doing this to show to my parents that I can live by myself and I don’t really need them to babysit me…



I had a discussion with a friend of mine, about a few days ago.. She’s actually my colleague; and we talked about the topic of life..


“Are you okay with your parents??”


And I was like, “what the fuck??”..


Haihz,, the truth is, my relationship with my parents macam biasalah.. All of us are very close to each other, and I just don’t feel comfortable to open up to neither of them.. It is just that, I just cant wait to be “FREE” in this world; with no strings attached to anyone and get a good life, doing the things that I really wanna do…



My dad once told me about himself when he was young; long long time ago…



“I bought my first house when I was 23 years old.. And u can never ever reach my level, even in the next few generations”…


I dunno.. I felt so mad at him.. I felt really insulted. And at times, I just feel like leaving the house, start to work really hard to earn some cash, study and get a degree, do some odd jobs and lastly, get a ONE-WAY-TICKET to the UK and study overseas and get a good job.. So that 20years from now, I can show my dad that I can build my own empire, without taking even a single penny from him.. And I can sense that I will do it some day, when im ready..



Call me INSANE.. You can call me CRAZY, but u can never let me chop off my EGO from me.. Coz without my EGO, then I have nothing else to protect myself from this evil world..



And LEAVING THE LIFE I USED TO KNOW…



Respect my decision, and you will get back my respect in return..



PS: I will find the loopholes and escape from my miseries.. No worries..





PPS: TO AMIRUL…



AMIRUL: Hey bro, good luck in everything that u do.. I know that u are facing a tough life out there, but no worries.. At times, we have to do things eventhough the world seem not to support the things that we do.. But do remember this, you’ll never walk alone.. And that’s nature.. Congratulation coz u made it into the rugby team.. Be humble and show them the things that u can do in the field…We used to back up each other during our International and even our domestic rugby matches.. But now, u have to do it by yourself…I wanna hear people cheering for your name… And one more thing, u can never hide your problems away from me… Coz I know the way u think,bro.. Just fuck the world, and do the things you want to do with your own way.. An I will always support you as long as the two of us are still on the same track.. You may go clockwise and I may go anticlockwise, but some day, we’ll meet at one point; the 12 o’clock…




That’s life, people…

Into The Blues

PS: Just missing the old days..

A DAY OUT OF THE PRISON

First and fore most, I would like to say sorry for not updating about myself,lately… This week, had been a tremendous week for me, and I found myself much calm and peaceful instead of going chaotic; just like any other heart-killing days..


It has been quite some time since the last time I actually blog about things around me.. Making myself busy was the only think I can think of, ever since I’ve got myself working in thee fashion industry, again…



I gone through quite a number of experiences through out this whole week.. It was fun and kinda tiring.. But it doesn’t matter.. As long as im doing the right thing, aiming sharp at my destination and work hard for it, most probably I can achieve the things that I’ve been waiting for; all this while…


Twp more months to go before I start to spread my wings and fly; as free as a bird.. At times, I just wish to sleep, sleep and sleep.. Just to makesure that my days will end a lil faster so that I can start “flying”, in my next remaining 70days of this year…



But I do not gain anything at all after doing so… I have big plans in my head.. But I cant wait for the “OPPORTUNITY” to come and strike it first before anyone else does.. I’m trying my best to CREATE the OPPRTUNITIES… By being and opportunist.. Just like those days when I was a little younger..



At first, it may be difficult to follow the routes right now… But I know that some how, I will get my opportunity of doing the things I want.. Like what she told me the pther day when I was too UNSTABLE;


“A rainbow will appear after every storm”



PS: I cant remember when was the last I became UNSTABLE… It was long long time ago..


Cheers…

FINALLY, I LEARNT THE ART OF SMILING =,=

Okay, it was a sunny Tuesday, early last week.. After waiting for GODDAMN 9MONTHS to “confirm” bout our “The Art Of Smiling With Jade” lessons, she decided to have our class after postponding it ever since 7th of January 2008.. (eh Poh Yee, I still remember the date kay where we were supposed to go to Queenspark to get my gifts from China… And u’ve been delaying it until now..)..


We were supposed to meet at Times Square around 2pm, but pohyee was LATE… and she blamed me for her “being late”… =,= I just don’t get this lady lah..


So, I called her and asked for her location; “I’m at the main entrance”… Susah payah I was looking for her at the main entrance.. And guess what she was doing; she was hiding behind a tree and god knows what she was doing behind the trre… (Maybe secretely pee-ing kot..) =X


We decided to have our lunch at Old Town Café before proceed with my original plan.. (I wanted to learn how she did her innocent looking face in the photos and use it against her after mastering it.. Gagagaaga)…



As usual,we diverted into doing something else pulak… We were talking bout LIFE, hairstyles and till now, I dunno how we ended up talking bout pokemon, power rangers, the latest Korean and Chinese movies; and even had a shirt trip to the DVD shops.. =,=””


After a long tiring day, we decided to MINUM at Gasoline, her “not-so-favourite” restaurant.. Okay, I have to admit that the service was really terrible.. poh Yee tried speaking in Chinese to them, but it just didn’t workout.. Maybe coz pohyee was giving them her INNOCENT face which was not that innocent to me…


AND FINALLY,the CAMWHORING SESSION!!!!...

Jeng jeng jeng….


PS: At first, I was expecting pohyee to be a professional photographer and a good model too… I was planning to absorb each and every skills of her.. Until.. Something happened, while we were taking our photos…
*CENSORED* coz pohyee may kill me after reading this blog..
As a conclusion, even a great supermodel like Pohyee pun ada a few weaknesses too..



She err, DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO USE THE CAMERA PUN.. (I mean, the two of us.. Dahlah I stole my sister’s expensive camera, and we ended up wasted 30minutes just to figure out the “flash” button… =,= idiotlah this girl… Dahlah it was supposed to be an outing where I learnt her skills, but it ended up as a totally different story… The two of us learnt to USE the fucking camera jer)…


By the way, her FIRST alasan was “I only use and good with Satya and Ee Leng’s camera”..


<em>PS: Just wait for her second alasan pulak, while we were taking photos ofUS…


“adam, this photo of us is not that nice lah.. Where is the DELETE button??”


And I answered “My sister dah remove the DELETE function”…


She nodher head without asking any questions while making her innocent face, again..



PS: I was LAUGHING MY ASS OFF… Memang sah she tak tahu guna camera.. Just pandai post and smile jer =X and she used her first alasan again, as aforesaid..

NEXT SCENE:



We were camwhoring and taking photos of each other smiling.. It turned out well.. But when it comes to OUR PHOTOTAKING session.. Something terrible happened..

And I questioned her bout it..


“eh pohyee, u tahu ank=gkat gambar ke tak.. How come it’s either u take my face jer and half of your face and vice versa”…

And her second ALASAN was:


“Tangan I pendeklah.. I cant take photos of two of us”…

CONCLUSION:


I have to admit that pohyee looks good in photos.. But the tendency of her to look really happy or really sad is 50%... which is so damn bad lah.. Just look at the photos, and u’ll get what im trying to tell the whole world.. Secondly, she doesn’t know how to use the camera, at all.. Maybe because she’s used to some people who takes photos with her all the time without she holding the camera pun.. Last but not least, poh yee doesnt know how to hold the camera and blaming her SHORT hands for taking poor images..



So,we gave up in taking photos after STARING at each other and decided to watch EAGLE EYE before we end our class..


PS: IM just telling the truth about u and the camera kay.. Pliz don’t fuck me up in your blog.. U can never hide the truth =P muahahahahahaha… I’ll send the photos to u, really soon… just a little busy, lately.. Thanks for the two gifts from china and the necklace.. It is so damn preety..,, So sweet of u.. Actually, not that sweet lah.. Coz I was supposed to get it from u like, 9months ago.. Btw, thanks a lot… I’ll take care of “Sakiko” and “Arisa” kay.. No worries…

I’ll see you when I see you again… Cheers..


PS: After my outing with pohyee, I decided to cut my hair short… and I got back my favourite hair style, the Skin Cut…


Till we meet again…

SUNDAY MOURN-ING

When I woke up early about 10 in the morning (Sunday,12th October 2008), I realized that something is missing in my life… There is just something that either I have forgotten it, pretend not to accept the existence of it or even trying to forget it.. But, there is something that is bothering me.. And I still cannot find the real answer…



Looking back into my diary, I knew that I’ve done so many important things for this week. From going for a job interview , meeting my fellow VIPB brothers and hanging out with them, sudden lunch with my friend, pressure in deciding the best job with the best pay for me, and the best part was when I dropped my phone a few days back and now I cant seem to hear anyone’s over my phone.




These little things can make a big difference in me. And I’m still wondering, must I be a “TRAVELLER”; the guy who travels everywhere under the sun just to find something that actually interest him and he leaves when he conquers it.. like what they say..



“HE CAME, HE STAYED, HE CONQUERED”

There are some missing puzzles in myself. I am trying my best to find it from my surroundings.. Day by day, I try not to cover myself the ‘cons’ and ‘lies’ by waiting for the unexpected things to actually ‘entertain’ my day; by giving me surprises.



And now, I’m sick and tired of giving myself the “i-know-what’s-going-to-happen-next” surprises.. And today, im sitting down at my PC, blogging bout how miserable my life was on previous days (even when I knew that I kept myself occupied with necessary things).. Maybe im just “HUNGRY” for something new; maybe new experiences which can satisfy me.. Is it a good thing or a bad thing? Well, the truth is, I do not know. At the end of the day, I am the only one who can decide it.. And as the “GENERAL” in my life, I do my shots..






My friend, Nazrin Nasir invited me for his Hari Raya Open House later at 1pm. It’s actually “Celebrating Hari Raya With VIPB 07” open house.. I was really excired about it when he invited me for his open house. But now, it faded edi.. I realized that something is missing in my life,lately.. Im so keen to know “what went wrong with my mind”.




Three more months before I leave these miseries; and I do hope that it’s for good; for the better me. “YOU’VE NEVER CHANGED SINCE TWO WEEKS AGO” said someone.. Maybe that explains on why I am still the same old man, gasping for air and still barely able to breathe. But I love the feelings of being ‘suffocated’ right now instead of ‘suffocating’ later on; especially when I get older..




PS: Does anyone know the ‘missing puzzle’ in me??
PPS: I need to find the missing puzzles before I rot.


C’est la vie.

HARI RAYA OPEN HOUSE (which almost gave me THREE sudden heart attacks, PART2)

My sister was invited to her friend’s hari raya open house at Jalan Medang Tanduk, Bangsar.. My dad was a little busy on that day, and I had to “temankan” my sister and sent her back home later.. So, I temankan her to the open house before meeting Syaz at Mid Valley later on in the evening.. (Saturday,11th October 2008)



So, as I entered her main gate, I said hi to my sister’s friend, introducing myself to this beautiful young petite lady in a modern dress; Raja Nabilah… (The name Raja sounds familiar, but I couldn’t caress bout it..).. She has a body of a young adult, but she’s only 14 years old, this year.. Too young for me =P lol..


Okay, cut the crap..


So, when I entered her house, I almost drop dead; when I met the person who welcomed me to her house…


I was BLABBERING.. I was SHOCKED.. And that was my SECOND heart attack in TWO consecutive days… When I met HER, again..


It was RAJA EZRIN’S house… And Raja Nabilah, is her sister; and my sister’s best friend…


She was shocked too.. And speechless.. We didn’t know what to do.. Yesterday we shook hand with each other, but we didn’t caress bout knowing each other.. And at that very moment, I knew that some how, we HAVE to know each other better..



So, I was lepaking with her at the dining table, talking bout everything about our life; and the most interesting part was when I told her that I knew her name, even before meeting her..



*FLASHBACK*

It was a beautiful afternoon, when I was in form six.. I heard about a girl from SRI HARTAMAS who just entered VI… But I didn’t bother to know the person because I was a little busy with everything in my life especially meeting my old friends, my classes in form six and looking around for colleges.. And on Ezrin’s first day in school, while I was on my way out from the form six block, I bump into a guy who was looking for his daughter.. And he said:


“Kenal Raja Ezrin tak?? My daughter went missing. This is her first day in school and she didn’t answer her phone. Can u please help me to look for her??”And I knew her through her dad, without knowing the lady…




A few days after that, I left VI..


*Back to Reality*


It was already 2.12pm.. and I received a text from Syaz.. and here it goes:


“Adam, see you around 4pm. Coz im attending my friend’s open house right now.. Im gonna be late for our lunch”
A few minutes later, while we were having our lunch,Ezrin told me that her best friend, Syazwani will be coming here, anytime… Oh My God!!! Ezrin and me, tiba-tiba had our EVIL PLANS to kenakan Syazwani… It was FUN, y’know,,



And the three of us alongside with her cousins and friends started Karaoke-ing.. Me and my “I will survive”, Syaz with her “my heart will go on”, and ezrin’s “menghitung hari”… Basically, I had fun with their family..


And I felt happy when me and Ezrin’s dad were talking to each other bout ourself.. He was asking me bout my family background etc etc.. And he just loves to talk to me..And I love your EXOTIC CARS too, uncle.. lol.. Hope to see u again, sir..



Well, Syaz and I cancelled our lunch at Mid Valley coz it was getting too late.. The three of us enjoyed talking bout my experiences in VIPB, and the troubles they went through on their early stage of being a TP.. And we kept on repeating the stories on how and where we met, because it was fun to know our history.. and funny too…



To Syaz and Raja Ezrin, all the best in your life as a prefect.. Whatever it is, education and family comes first.. All the best, ladies..


PS: Hey Ezrin, I think that im in love with your Porche and your Rolls Royce.. Can I like, test drive it some day?? =P Pliz get the permission from your dad..lol..



TILL WE MEET AGAIN…

A SHOCKING FRIDAY with the FRACTIONS.. (part 1)

A few days back (to be precise,on a Friday after having my lunch at Secret Recipe), I had to go for an event at my school. It was some sort of a “Sesi berkenalan dengan EX-VIPB and the TPs).. As usual, I was really curious to know the newly elected FRACTIONS a.k.a The Lady Prefects..



So, quite a number of us from the batch of 2007 actually were present on that day.. The event started at approximately 2.30pm but I was a little late; I arrived at 4.30pm coz I was with someone whom I didn’t meet for quite sometime, having our lunch..



Bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla… The meeting was okay.. The juniors learnt many things from us.. But I was still wondering bout the new lady prefects; coz I’ve not see them before..



As I entered the back portion, I was damn SHOCKED when I got to know that one of the lady prefects was actually my LONG LOST HIGH SCHOOL FRIEND!!!



Being a semi-coward, I asked her (Syazwani) a very stupid question.. Probably, the dumbest question ever in my life..To make things worst, I went to her straight without knowing my next step..



Adam: I rasa yang I kenal you.. Kita pernah jumpa dekat mana ek??
( She was silent..Didnt even answer my question and the surroundings were watching the two of us)..Syaz: You, Adam kan?? From VI.
Adam: Yeah.. U sekolah mana dulu??
(coz I have totally forgotten EVERYTHING about her,and I was trying to dig out more informations bout us..)Syaz: I was from SAB..
Adam: SAB?? (pretending to remember her being my friend from SAB..)
Adam: Owh, from SAB rupanya..
(But I knew that I tak kenal ANYONE from SAB… But deep inside me, I knew that she wasn’t in SAb before this.. I’ve seen her before..I was close to her, when I was in high school.. I remembered myself being sarcastic to her,and her two other friends..I remembered everything bout her and her friends,but everything was blur,at that moment..)

Then, we started talking bout the past; from where we met till how we got to know about each other.. It was funny.. We met each other a few years back; coz I was really involved in school activities and all.. But we met for the first time during a camp; a camp that actually changed my life until now; the turning point…


I got to know Satya, Azureen and Syazwani for the first time in my life.. All of us was in our complete school uniform EXCEPT the CONVENT GIRLS.. Satya was in her pink TIGHT top, pink sweat pants whereas the others was with the OVERSIZED P.E attire..
And that was my first time, meeting these three wonderful people…



A few months after that, Amirul, Wai Hung and I qualified for the E-PPDa competition for the state level. And coincidently, Syazwani, Satya and Shana was there too.. We became competitors on that very day.. We even started to tease each other about err, EVERYTHING.. But then, I lost contact with Syaz, Azureen and Shana.. And im still in contact with Satya till now…



*snap*snap*

Later on, we exchanged our phone numbers coz she had to get back home early..


And I was still curious… How can she be in SAB, while her other three friends were in the convent school… And my question was answered by her later on,at night…


She was from CPR.. And the school sent her straight to SAB to do her form six.. So, she entered SAB first before entering VI.. And the day she entered my Alma Mater, her life changes…



And that was when I decided to go for a drink with her on the next day (Saturday) at mid valley to know some missing puzzles in my life.. And to tell her bout my experiences being a VI prefect, when I was a kid..



PS: And that Friday was my first time meeting her best friend, Raja Ezrin, the other Lady Prefect..
TO BE CONTINUED…